Real Estate

8 East 62nd Street

We don’t usually make posts about a single real estate listing. Except for when it’s an $84.5 million, 15,000 sqft., 1903 Beaux-Arts mansion and an architectural paean to excess.

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Have you ever been so awed you began to spastically bang on your keyboaeq9813ae;laou?

As Modlin Group will have you know, this townhouse was built by John H. Duncan—architect of Grant’s Tomb—and restored by the noted William T. Georgis.

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Grant’s Tomb, marble resting place of Ulysses. S Grant and Julia Dent Grant

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8 East 62nd Street’s foyer—resemblance?

“Forever” sculpture aside, it’s splendiferous. First, a tour of its features.

In addition to being proudly only “7 minutes [from] Whole Foods Market,” the house features a plunge pool, two-storey closet, small bone cabinetry, and uncountable fireplaces.

Closet: Floor 1 of 2

Closet: Floor 1 of 2

Pool (in case of emergency, dead body storage facility)

Pool (in case of emergency, dead body storage facility)

Kitchen—funny, we don't see any small bones?

Kitchen—funny, we don’t see any small bones?

Ceilings fit for an aviary

Ceilings fit for an aviary

I could go on.

OK, I will—

Carrara marble, mahogany pocket doors, original hardware, Parquet de Versailles flooring, skylights, a temperature-controlled vault for furs, a Biszet cosmetics refrigerator (is this… a thing?)

Slinky time?

Slinky time?

Modern (and expensive pieces) line the walls

Modern (and expensive) pieces line the walls

Hm.

Hm.

Art? Or feces. (But don't get us started on the woodwork.)

Art? Or feces. (But don’t get us started on the woodwork.)

Should I keep going at this point?

Probably not, but:

custom sinks, anti-fog mirrors, Waterworks tubs, Hermès leather walls, a billiard room, a media rom with a wet bar,

Do you even need the rest of the house when you have this?

Do you even need the rest of the house when you have this?

Dear god, that molding's taller than I am.

Dear god, that molding’s taller than I am.

Don't worry, your bathroom won't get fogged up as you bathe in your expensive tub.

Don’t worry, your bathroom won’t get fogged up as you bathe in your expensive tub.

Is this the tub? Or is this the lipstick fridge? At this point, I'm not sure.

Is this the tub? Or is this the lipstick fridge? At this point, I’m not sure.

Wet bar. For, ya' know, whatever a wet bar is used for.

Wet bar. For… ya’ know, whatever a wet bar is used for.

Gym, for post-wet bar workouts.

Gym, for post-wet bar workouts.

Are we getting close to the end?

It’s hard to tell at this point.

a Zen garden, Central Park views, a massage room, Creston system, LCD TV-embedded mirrors, and keyless entry.

 

Are there still names for rooms left over at this point?

Is there a name for this?

Wait, so where's the Zen garden?

Wait, so where’s the Zen garden?

We made it.

But the most impressive part of the house—arguably even more saliva-inducing than its myriad features or million-dollar art collection —is its floor plan.

Well. There's that.

Well. There’s that.

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